Indulge in the mayonnaise on the lens, soap opera haze of a more optimistic time when feeding houseguests was both art and war. When you could taste the airport carpet photo quality. The noise-canceling flavor clash. Gout-inflaming collages of interstitial meats and semi-savory suspensions where malformed menageries gaze vacant with eyes of maraschino and stuffed olive. Where spam-whip pineapples, cucumber roses, lemon pigs and paté porcupines populate hyperreal gardens of maniacal food topiary. Where you are a god and calories are your clay. An affront to all that is modest, an assault on all that is refined. Can-bourne meats, Betty Crocker eel tape, brimming martini pitchers, murky galaxies of aspic, hyper-specific crockeries, esoteric utensils, prawn armatures, unnatural shapes in supernatural color.
Shout loud these your mantras......"Fish Finger a la King"..... "Versatile Chicken in Aspic"...... "Party Sandwich Loaf" ....."Frankfurter Crown" ....."Beefburger Pancakes Eleganté" ....."Great proliferations of canapés!".........Fear has no place in a kitchen........
You are invited.
For invite, fill out the fun form at the bottom of the page.
Shout loud these your mantras......"Fish Finger a la King"..... "Versatile Chicken in Aspic"...... "Party Sandwich Loaf" ....."Frankfurter Crown" ....."Beefburger Pancakes Eleganté" ....."Great proliferations of canapés!".........Fear has no place in a kitchen........
You are invited.
For invite, fill out the fun form at the bottom of the page.
2020 dishes
“ALL SHRIMP GO TO HEAVEN”. #22
(The Ascension of pandanus Borealis)
The hatchery, embraced by the crystal lobster, depicts a duality of obsidian and ruby ovum bearing fiery red Tobiko and inky Sturgeon caviar. Beware, a nefarious dusting of smoked paprika. only Pious Prawns ascend on nine food grade pathways to the Heaven Side Layer through gossamer clouds of spun cane juice. When you hear a bell ring, a shrimp gets its wings
WINNER of "Best Dish Name" First prize, secured through Beer Shotgun Combat in a rare 3 way tie. Also "Most Surprisingly Edible" Second prize
(The Ascension of pandanus Borealis)
The hatchery, embraced by the crystal lobster, depicts a duality of obsidian and ruby ovum bearing fiery red Tobiko and inky Sturgeon caviar. Beware, a nefarious dusting of smoked paprika. only Pious Prawns ascend on nine food grade pathways to the Heaven Side Layer through gossamer clouds of spun cane juice. When you hear a bell ring, a shrimp gets its wings
WINNER of "Best Dish Name" First prize, secured through Beer Shotgun Combat in a rare 3 way tie. Also "Most Surprisingly Edible" Second prize
"CIGARETTES" #3
An ashtray full of cigarettes with accompanying cocktail, "Ever Clean Vineyards box wine"
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy. Smoking by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth, and low birth weight. Smoke contains carbon monoxide. Warning: This product may cause mouth cancer, gum disease and tooth loss.
Presented by The Marlboro Man. WINNER of "Best Cocktail" First prize
An ashtray full of cigarettes with accompanying cocktail, "Ever Clean Vineyards box wine"
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy. Smoking by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth, and low birth weight. Smoke contains carbon monoxide. Warning: This product may cause mouth cancer, gum disease and tooth loss.
Presented by The Marlboro Man. WINNER of "Best Cocktail" First prize
"RAINBOW TREAT TOWER w/ Colorful Gelatin Wiggles" #11
An inadvertently created portal to the transcendental object at the end of time through a mucilaginous confection bridge. A fun, colorful dessert which transports its creator to the vastness across the prism going beyond the loop to a single point in the center of space time wherein all possibilities become co-tangent
WINNER of "Best Dish , Costume Pairing" First prize.
An inadvertently created portal to the transcendental object at the end of time through a mucilaginous confection bridge. A fun, colorful dessert which transports its creator to the vastness across the prism going beyond the loop to a single point in the center of space time wherein all possibilities become co-tangent
WINNER of "Best Dish , Costume Pairing" First prize.
"Fish In Fish. Space Roe, Manhattan Special Special" TRYPTIC #16
WINNER of "Most Beautiful Food Object" First prize, "Best Edible Animalization/Chimera" Second prize and "Best Cocktail" Second prize
WINNER of "Most Beautiful Food Object" First prize, "Best Edible Animalization/Chimera" Second prize and "Best Cocktail" Second prize
"Armadillo Elegante Armour". #1
Pimento cheese dip + radish + saltine dust + almond slivers + celery grasses
WINNER of "Best Animalization/Chimera" First prize
Pimento cheese dip + radish + saltine dust + almond slivers + celery grasses
WINNER of "Best Animalization/Chimera" First prize
"BEYOND THE FUR". #9
A dramatization of the sumptuous bounty of fur, human and animal, and food depicted here:
A dramatization of the sumptuous bounty of fur, human and animal, and food depicted here:
WINNER of "Best Dish Costume Pairing" Second prize and "Best Theme Presentation of serving Dish-ware, Crockery, Utensils" Second prize
"BEAVER YULE-LOG JAM DAM" #14
A busy beaver's take on the classic Yule log. Look! there is a little beaver filled with whipped cheese medley nut crumble chicken bacon dip. He has presented a feast of rolled butter cream mushroom crepes crowned with sprouting fauna sitting aloft a river water gelatin salad. The kratom, aloe and chlorophyll algae slime falls and pools below his masterfully constructed edible home. Cut off his head & dip in!
WINNER of "Best Theme Presentation of serving Dish-ware, Crockery, Utensils" First prize and "Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-sensory and Sound Effects" First prize
A busy beaver's take on the classic Yule log. Look! there is a little beaver filled with whipped cheese medley nut crumble chicken bacon dip. He has presented a feast of rolled butter cream mushroom crepes crowned with sprouting fauna sitting aloft a river water gelatin salad. The kratom, aloe and chlorophyll algae slime falls and pools below his masterfully constructed edible home. Cut off his head & dip in!
WINNER of "Best Theme Presentation of serving Dish-ware, Crockery, Utensils" First prize and "Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-sensory and Sound Effects" First prize
"UNCLE JEDD'S BOLOGNA CAKE"
Layers of deception, dairy and drunken stupor. A preservative packed cake with layers of meatless deli slices and icing. It’s like a beautiful wedding cake with all the dark secrets hidden inside. A preservative packed cake with layers of meatless deli slices and icing. It’s like a beautiful wedding cake with all the dark secrets hidden inside.
WINNER of "Most Surprisingly Edible" First prize
Layers of deception, dairy and drunken stupor. A preservative packed cake with layers of meatless deli slices and icing. It’s like a beautiful wedding cake with all the dark secrets hidden inside. A preservative packed cake with layers of meatless deli slices and icing. It’s like a beautiful wedding cake with all the dark secrets hidden inside.
WINNER of "Most Surprisingly Edible" First prize
"A NEWTOWN CREEK OF THE MIND" #19
Ocean jello, but sweet not salty. Will be presented on an orange plate. Dish 2: It's a space cake, but no drugs.
WINNER of "Best Dish Name" Second prize
Ocean jello, but sweet not salty. Will be presented on an orange plate. Dish 2: It's a space cake, but no drugs.
WINNER of "Best Dish Name" Second prize
"CHILDREN OF THE CREAM CORN" #12
A dizzying glimpse into the labyrinth at the center of the human heart, where the world is a vortex of corn, cheese and gelatin and leads only, and always, to one inevitable end - murderous children.
WINNER of "Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-sensory and Sound Effects" Second prize.
A dizzying glimpse into the labyrinth at the center of the human heart, where the world is a vortex of corn, cheese and gelatin and leads only, and always, to one inevitable end - murderous children.
WINNER of "Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-sensory and Sound Effects" Second prize.
"RING AROUND THE TUNA"
Celery, pimento and olives in lime jello ring around tricolor tuna salad, Vienna sausages and radish garnish on a bed of greens. Gelatin
Celery, pimento and olives in lime jello ring around tricolor tuna salad, Vienna sausages and radish garnish on a bed of greens. Gelatin
"ANIMAL AS ANOTHER ANIMAL, IN ASPIC"
Will have fireworks presentation at the judging time. It's probably pork in a fish mold with the searing being done with a layer of bacardi 151 suspended in the aspic that's in the shape of a fish mold. This is to appease my specific spirit guides, of gluttony and fluidity of relation.
Who do you see this dish intended for? "The fire department and coast guard"
Will have fireworks presentation at the judging time. It's probably pork in a fish mold with the searing being done with a layer of bacardi 151 suspended in the aspic that's in the shape of a fish mold. This is to appease my specific spirit guides, of gluttony and fluidity of relation.
Who do you see this dish intended for? "The fire department and coast guard"
"THE NEWTOWN CREEK CATCH DU JOUR"
with "oil drilled from creek" cocktail
A nautical wonder served in situ, hoisted by its own entanglement, and served in the vegetation of its origin in the warm morning light of the bologna sunrise.
with "oil drilled from creek" cocktail
A nautical wonder served in situ, hoisted by its own entanglement, and served in the vegetation of its origin in the warm morning light of the bologna sunrise.
"THE 9/11 MEMORIAL"
In honor of our fallenheros, their memories newly energized by RTob Lowes hotly anticipated new series "9-1-1" this mid-winter on NBC. The lightning bolts symbolize power, the rice symbolizes humble working class background and the centerpiece, a tombstone of "village ham"
In honor of our fallenheros, their memories newly energized by RTob Lowes hotly anticipated new series "9-1-1" this mid-winter on NBC. The lightning bolts symbolize power, the rice symbolizes humble working class background and the centerpiece, a tombstone of "village ham"
"GREAT AUNT MAUDE'S SHORE DIP"
A family "favorite", this dip was served for years during beach outings. Aunt Maude, that boozy floozy of the family, would often float with a martini in hand falling asleep and swearing a MONSTER had touched her leg as she slept
A family "favorite", this dip was served for years during beach outings. Aunt Maude, that boozy floozy of the family, would often float with a martini in hand falling asleep and swearing a MONSTER had touched her leg as she slept
"THE HOLY CANNOLI AND THE UNHOLY MACARONI" with "BLOOD OF CHRIST" cocktail
A crucifix made of cannoli. sacrilcious!
A crucifix made of cannoli. sacrilcious!
"BANNOFFEE SWAN"
English swan relocated to Newtown creek having survived hours submerged in boiling water
English swan relocated to Newtown creek having survived hours submerged in boiling water
"BP PEA SPILL"
Banana rolled ham holiday dots (it's bologna) and Bologna mashed peas a la BP (with gelatin)
Banana rolled ham holiday dots (it's bologna) and Bologna mashed peas a la BP (with gelatin)
"TOAST POINTS"
Food from a pessimistic future
Food from a pessimistic future
"Jiggly Demiurge, USA"
A jaunty, morganatic union of iconographies both profane and divine, consummated in Jell-O; the Word made corporeal in a very visceral sense.
A jaunty, morganatic union of iconographies both profane and divine, consummated in Jell-O; the Word made corporeal in a very visceral sense.
"BOOBY TRAP"
A half bottle of Tanqueray suspended in lime jello spiked with the other half of the Tanqueray.
A half bottle of Tanqueray suspended in lime jello spiked with the other half of the Tanqueray.
"FISH UNDER A FUR COAT"
A classic Soviet-era “salad” that has been around since at least 1919. It is universally beloved, and is likely to be found at every holiday table. Essentially everything you need in a vodka chaser, it’s layers of (finely chopped) herring, marinated onions, potatoes, carrots, eggs and sometimes beets. It’s sort of a layered fish cake, with mayo standing in for icing. If you do it right & let it set for a few hours in a fridge, the layers look vibrant and distinct when you slice it, for full cake effect.
#рыбаподшубой #селедкаподшубой #fishunderfurcoat
A classic Soviet-era “salad” that has been around since at least 1919. It is universally beloved, and is likely to be found at every holiday table. Essentially everything you need in a vodka chaser, it’s layers of (finely chopped) herring, marinated onions, potatoes, carrots, eggs and sometimes beets. It’s sort of a layered fish cake, with mayo standing in for icing. If you do it right & let it set for a few hours in a fridge, the layers look vibrant and distinct when you slice it, for full cake effect.
#рыбаподшубой #селедкаподшубой #fishunderfurcoat
The Creation: A mycelial network of Prana prawn-a and kim-Qi.
Bloody seas: A boat of bloody seas -oned chicken fluids.
Uncle Bob's dreamer orbs: YOU figure it out.
"The Creation." IT has always been. It expands DNA, it will become one
with you. Did you digest IT? ...or did it take over your body and mind
to digest YOU? Do you have much room for a Pleasure overload, like the
tricky cordyceps fungi, do you think you're the fun guy, or are you
now just a gypsy zombie moth host body having fun, taking the trip,
going for the ride?
It may taste of foul fowl death... yet it isn't. Pickled vegan meat!?!
Laetiporus Sulphureus aka Chicken of the Woods fungi, tastes just like
chicken! Don't be fooled. Hitler was a vegetarian. This does not make
you a good person. Tho it is an anti-inflammatory, you may still burn
in the eternal flames of hell-o kitty! Tiny dinosaurs did not die for
you, this time. But perhaps a broth of blood gravy as an optional side
sauce will placate your desire for the flavor of muerto! "Sauce" may
be an EM-5 mad scientist liquid instead, designed by Japanese geniuses
descended from aliens of Okinawa who whispered secrets of composting
with Effective microorganisms-1.
People who are indecisive on whether they should kill something to
eat, or if they should be more like a failed art/architecture student
who married his niece and declared war on the world (well that's a
terrible thing to say, you should make up something more tactful to
blurb about).
Bloody seas: A boat of bloody seas -oned chicken fluids.
Uncle Bob's dreamer orbs: YOU figure it out.
"The Creation." IT has always been. It expands DNA, it will become one
with you. Did you digest IT? ...or did it take over your body and mind
to digest YOU? Do you have much room for a Pleasure overload, like the
tricky cordyceps fungi, do you think you're the fun guy, or are you
now just a gypsy zombie moth host body having fun, taking the trip,
going for the ride?
It may taste of foul fowl death... yet it isn't. Pickled vegan meat!?!
Laetiporus Sulphureus aka Chicken of the Woods fungi, tastes just like
chicken! Don't be fooled. Hitler was a vegetarian. This does not make
you a good person. Tho it is an anti-inflammatory, you may still burn
in the eternal flames of hell-o kitty! Tiny dinosaurs did not die for
you, this time. But perhaps a broth of blood gravy as an optional side
sauce will placate your desire for the flavor of muerto! "Sauce" may
be an EM-5 mad scientist liquid instead, designed by Japanese geniuses
descended from aliens of Okinawa who whispered secrets of composting
with Effective microorganisms-1.
People who are indecisive on whether they should kill something to
eat, or if they should be more like a failed art/architecture student
who married his niece and declared war on the world (well that's a
terrible thing to say, you should make up something more tactful to
blurb about).
promo dish descriptions and other stuff
Gravy Boat beverage...no lumps
Sometimes its important to know when not to embellish and to allow the natural flavors of an ingredient to shine out.
This unencumbered submission from Patty Fitzpatrick ó Maoilriain "the diamonds of Donegal" distils the essence of irish cuisine. "Best dressed chicken in town"
what can feed a family of four and be your dashing date to the opera? Probably not your husband, but this tux toting turkey cuts straight to the front of the flavor line every time. Always serve on a bed of grapes. "Box of liver pudding" a fun yet restrained oriental spin on a classic Soviet prison food. The secret is the molasses. Serve in a shroud of cabbage steam in a starched coffee filter. No laughing, lots of smiling.
"un argument convaincant contre la civilisation humaine"
"A cogent argument against human civilization" base of yellow cake, cased in lemon to orange frosting gradient, adorned in harlequin figurines with exposed pink exoorgans. For mature children only. Existential crisis in DARK chocolate and nonsweet cream with unfulfilled center, served alone on cold steel tray.
|
Awards ceremony. those Martinis had me on the ropes, thanks for listening.
"Wappen der Republik Österreich"
A colorful and patriotic dish, Very little of which is edible unless you are very drunk. Bordered in uncooked rice and served on the floor of a lavatory. "Carnal embrace in the garden before the conception of man"
Select the finest fruit phallus of the bunch, it must be perfectly ripe yet unwaveringly firm. Select two engorged fruit vaginas from a can of DOLE ringed fruit vaginas in heavy syrup. Serve in an erotic garden of ripe berries and crisp sweet greens. In protestant cookbooks this can be referred to simply as "fruit plate" but it's the same thing. "Animists crab funeral"
Find and boil a large crab known to be a reincarnation of an important ancestor of your village. Dress ornately and SYMMETRICALY in the last meal eaten by that ancestor. In this case. Hard boiled egg slices, pickle slices, frosting rimmed tomato slices and the plastic shrubberies that segregate deli sushi. One 33.3 foot, Aggressively boiled soba noodle coiled and dusted in pumpkin pie spice in a fortification of charred nilla wafers
|
You will be judged by your peers........Yes, that turkey is wearing a bread tuxedo on a bed of grapes....Can you do better?
-Best Dish Name
-Best Dish Description
-Best Dish Costume Pairing
-Best Edible Animalization/Chimera
-Most Surprisingly Edible
-Most Charmingly Inedible
-Most Beautiful Food Object
-Best Theme Presentation of Serving Dish-ware, Crockery , Flatware , Utensils
-Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-Sensory and Sound Features
-Best Cocktail........of course
Be prepared to write a few words down for a dish description. your chance to explain or further mystify your contribution with some gushing, cryptic food poetry.
36 total guests will be invited in order of most interesting application.
Guest list will be announced January 15th
-Best Dish Name
-Best Dish Description
-Best Dish Costume Pairing
-Best Edible Animalization/Chimera
-Most Surprisingly Edible
-Most Charmingly Inedible
-Most Beautiful Food Object
-Best Theme Presentation of Serving Dish-ware, Crockery , Flatware , Utensils
-Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-Sensory and Sound Features
-Best Cocktail........of course
Be prepared to write a few words down for a dish description. your chance to explain or further mystify your contribution with some gushing, cryptic food poetry.
36 total guests will be invited in order of most interesting application.
Guest list will be announced January 15th