SENATORS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN , TIBERIUS AUGUSTUS IS DEAD !
It is true, I, Brutalist Maximalist have witnessed this with my own eyes, aboard his pleasure ship our emperor and our most generous host was engorged with many foods and wine when he choked upon the roast tongue of a flamingo and while flailing fell from his litter and rolled gracefully and headfirst into one of the ships' many marble fountains where he was struck on the skull by a protruding stone porpoise and though still full of vitality he was then stabbed with daggers many times by guests of the feast and was then rolled into a fine Egyptian carpet and let loose onto the waves, though he was first thrashed among the ship's many gilded oars and consumed by leviathan there under.
It is now my somber duty as Hand and Adviser to the Caesar to hold an emergency senate feast to coronate a new Caesar in the ancient way selected by Fornax, the god of cakes.
IN ATTENDANCE SHALL BE 20 SELECT SENATORS FROM ACROSS THE EMPIRE, EACH SENATOR MUST BRING AS FOLLOWS:
- ONE non senator or non roman citizen as guest, a foot page, concubine, consort, slave, spiritual advisor etc. (optional)
- One opulent dish to be served at the coronation, these dishes will be judged on:
It is now my somber duty as Hand and Adviser to the Caesar to hold an emergency senate feast to coronate a new Caesar in the ancient way selected by Fornax, the god of cakes.
IN ATTENDANCE SHALL BE 20 SELECT SENATORS FROM ACROSS THE EMPIRE, EACH SENATOR MUST BRING AS FOLLOWS:
- ONE non senator or non roman citizen as guest, a foot page, concubine, consort, slave, spiritual advisor etc. (optional)
- One opulent dish to be served at the coronation, these dishes will be judged on:
- Best Dish Name
- Best Dish Description
- Most historically accurate (only important if you want to win in this particular category)
- Best Edible Animalization/Chimera
- Most Surprisingly Edible
- Most Charmingly Inedible
- Best Costume
- Most Beautiful Food Object
- Best Thematic Presentation of Serving Dish-ware, Crockery , Flatware , Utensils, etc.
- Best Implementation of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi-Sensory and Sound Features
- Best Cocktail
- A printed or written description card for your dish
- One item of Tribute, a gift for the new Caesar, wrapped or not
- Your personal fancy cup and one for your guest if you allow them drink
- Must Fill out the Pactum form at the bottom of this page
- Formal attire for senators
- Senators may if they wish contribute to the Pleasure Barge Benevolence Society via Venmo orien mcneill 646 221 7782
- Change of clothes (optional)
- One item of Tribute, a gift for the new Caesar, wrapped or not
- Your personal fancy cup and one for your guest if you allow them drink
- Must Fill out the Pactum form at the bottom of this page
- Formal attire for senators
- Senators may if they wish contribute to the Pleasure Barge Benevolence Society via Venmo orien mcneill 646 221 7782
- Change of clothes (optional)
THE COURT OF CALIGULA as seen by the eye of zeus
"Hannibal" and "Lion eye-land iced tea"
By Atina Zayana Cana (ANITA) Birthday Girl. Presentation, Stick and bowl, respectively. Skull with anatomical wrap of 2 pounds of prosciutto. Winner of Best Cocktail for coconut milk and vodka jello shot with cranberry juice, blueberries, and a rum grenadine drizzle.
OS IMPURUM
Alexander Augustus Ignatius and Alexandra Iovis Omnituensia, (Alex and Alix) A ghastly reckoning of the beasts of the land, the fish of the sea, and the birds of the air, cavorting and writhing in a bed of the fruits of the earth. Such a combination irreparably defiles the mouth of the consumer. Winner of Best Dish Description and
HANDS OF OUR ENEMIES
Jacula Drusilla Atkinson and HADES Dagger and Sword: The Fate of All Those Who Oppose Me, to be feasted upon by dormice and then consumed into my flesh. Two hands severed from a freshly dead traitor, boiled and presented by Hades himself. Dormice that have consumed the flesh of the dead, plumped with nectar of the gods and presented between the hands. Winner of Most Surprising Edible
HYDRA PEACOCKENTRICE.
By Brutalist Maximalist (orien) and Dionysus God of bartending (Kat), a chimera of swine, turkey, duck, cat skulls, and edible gold spray paint. Do not eat if pregnant. Winner of Most Beautiful Food Object and Best Edible Chimera.
"BEHOLD, A MAN"
By Regina Pupianus Incontinenta and Quantum Anus (Callie Watts and Amy Wantanabe) A mystical creature, not beast yet not given into the good graces of manhood, cast out to be gorged upon by his peers. Chimera of chicken, pigs trotters, and crowned with salmon and a fish head with cumquats. Winner of Most Charmingly Inedible
CHARLIE'S DISH
Charlie's authentic Roman pork with charred rosemary and pickled peaches? Charlie, help me out here, what was this? Beavers love it. Winner of Most Historically Accurate.
ROMAN WATER, LEADED, UNLEADED and Golden Peas
By Centurion (Jason). Water, with and without lead. Also gold dusted peas gilded with ore from the new world, cathe and aerosol
THE BLOOD OF VENUS
By Maximus FORNAX, GOD OF CAKES (Savannah). Traditional Roman glutenious gratis birthday placenta (this is Latin for cake, seriously, google it) accompanied by the fountain of youth and dip-ables. Winner of Best Thematic Presentation of Serving Dishware, Crockery, Flatware, Utensils, Etc.
FALLEN PHOENIX FLAMBE AND SEIZURE SALAD
By Guiddus Aggripa and the Eunuch from Munich (Julianna and Bruce) Phoenix served on a bed of charred potatoes and pomegranates. Winner of Best Use of Kinetics, Lighting, Multi Sensory and Sound Features for strobing seizure inducing salad
SPICY FRIED ORGANIC BARBARIAN EARS with sauce of fresh blood and urine
By Tibeareus (Iris) winner of Best Dish Name
OCEAN WARFARE
By Pontius Gaius Titus Silvanus and Lufthansa (Keegan and Lauretta) A trireme fillet, Quite mobile and quite destructive
YAAKI
By Doorby Diirby Dirbonicon (Dirby and Hannah) Fine yakisoba noodles presented in vintage wears from the area settled by Japanese and gentrified by white people.
THE REIGNS OF THE VARIOUS CAESARS:
Caesar Dorbious Dirbonicon, a kind, undemanding caesar, man of the people, he even got up and got his own drinks and made little demands of any body. Caesar Jacula Drusilla Atkinson demanded a parade from fore and aft of the pleasure barge and back again. Commanded reluctant followers to hurl themselves willingly into the River Styx and pleasured many with the relentless caress of the Lingua Rotae. Caesar Maximus Fornax was very demanding in foot and leg rubs tiring many slaves to exhaustion and levied heavy taxations on horse tranquilizers until she became overcome and fell asleep, routed by Caesar Guiddus Aggripa who demanded the smiting of Gaulites, upgrade of all columns in the empire to Corinthian and a ban on lepers.
Caesar Dorbious Dirbonicon, a kind, undemanding caesar, man of the people, he even got up and got his own drinks and made little demands of any body. Caesar Jacula Drusilla Atkinson demanded a parade from fore and aft of the pleasure barge and back again. Commanded reluctant followers to hurl themselves willingly into the River Styx and pleasured many with the relentless caress of the Lingua Rotae. Caesar Maximus Fornax was very demanding in foot and leg rubs tiring many slaves to exhaustion and levied heavy taxations on horse tranquilizers until she became overcome and fell asleep, routed by Caesar Guiddus Aggripa who demanded the smiting of Gaulites, upgrade of all columns in the empire to Corinthian and a ban on lepers.
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
KELVIN DALY FOR HIS AMAZING AUTHENTIC ROMAN MUSIC. He makes all his own instruments, check out his website
@KELVINDALYMUSICALINSTRUMENTS instagram
kelvindaly.com
AND CHARLEY ZARDOZ FOR HIS HADES FIRE SHOW
AND JONATHAN KEEGAN FOR HIS GIFT OF GLADIATORIAL COMBAT.
AND EVERYBODY FOR COMING OUT IN SUCH FORCE WITHAMZING DISHES AND COSTUMES. LOVE YOU ALL
KELVIN DALY FOR HIS AMAZING AUTHENTIC ROMAN MUSIC. He makes all his own instruments, check out his website
@KELVINDALYMUSICALINSTRUMENTS instagram
kelvindaly.com
AND CHARLEY ZARDOZ FOR HIS HADES FIRE SHOW
AND JONATHAN KEEGAN FOR HIS GIFT OF GLADIATORIAL COMBAT.
AND EVERYBODY FOR COMING OUT IN SUCH FORCE WITHAMZING DISHES AND COSTUMES. LOVE YOU ALL
FEAST AND ENTERTAINMENT ITINERARIOUS:
- Presentation of the dishes
- The passing of the KYKEON vessel
- Judgement of the dishes. 6:30 Sharp.
- Wine
- The passing of the cake of Fornax
- The divine selection of the new Caesar
- Wine
- The new Caesar's tribute unboxing BONANZA, you could win EVERYTHING
- The new Caesar will speak some words and make any decrees or pronouncements
- THE FEAST
- The tickling of the throat to purge foods in the Vomitorium
- THE JUDGMENT.....
- Plunge in the frigidarium
- Gladiatorial combat entertainment
- Wine
- Good Roman music entertainment
- Oil strigiling to cleanse the body
- The "Placenta" course or Dessert course if any
- Wine Authenticus
- Application of the Lingua Rotae
- The flaming fingers of Hades Fire incantation
- The seductive dance of Dionysus the goddess of bartending
- Wine
- Wine
SOME GOOD ROMAN DISHES SERVED AT THE FINAL FEAST OF EMPEROR TIBERIUS AUGUSTUS FOR YOUR REFERENCE:
Boiled sow's udder sweetened with dates and sugar of lead. A pickled young tuna, larger than a lizard layered with eggs and leaves of rue. A large Britannian boar within a spit-roast ox that was as well pregnant with other animals within it including stuffed foul and marsh birds, some cooked and some living who flew out of its chest. Roast and honeyed dormice with poppy seeds served on a bridge. Flamingo stewed with mallows, milk fed snails, beetroot, 15 eggs, aniseed and lovage, with plumage restored to serve. Kid of lamb hollowed out like a pipe and filled with its own sausage boiled in a basket lowered in a cauldron of salt water. Finishing with sweet Rose-hip and calf's brain custard
"FOOD IS BETTER TO BE FEARED THAN RESPECTED"
THE PAX ROMANUS, It would be UnRoman:
-No guest shall be cast into or drink of the River STYX.
- The Caesar is a demigod, who does not micturate, defecate, or vomit. When conducting these mundane tasks the scepter (Caligula stick) of the Caesar must be handed off to another Roman Senator.
-No currency can be exchanged.
-Brutalist Maximalist, Hand to the Ceasar, Dionysus God of bartending, The horse senator Incitatus, centurions and any other non-senators CANNOT be Caesar.
- It is the divine purpose of the caesar, the darling of Dionysus to be a great and generous host
LOCATION:
Aboard caligula's pleasure barge, SAT OCT 2nd, 4:00pm - 2:00am On the River Styx, Bushwick Vicinia
- Presentation of the dishes
- The passing of the KYKEON vessel
- Judgement of the dishes. 6:30 Sharp.
- Wine
- The passing of the cake of Fornax
- The divine selection of the new Caesar
- Wine
- The new Caesar's tribute unboxing BONANZA, you could win EVERYTHING
- The new Caesar will speak some words and make any decrees or pronouncements
- THE FEAST
- The tickling of the throat to purge foods in the Vomitorium
- THE JUDGMENT.....
- Plunge in the frigidarium
- Gladiatorial combat entertainment
- Wine
- Good Roman music entertainment
- Oil strigiling to cleanse the body
- The "Placenta" course or Dessert course if any
- Wine Authenticus
- Application of the Lingua Rotae
- The flaming fingers of Hades Fire incantation
- The seductive dance of Dionysus the goddess of bartending
- Wine
- Wine
SOME GOOD ROMAN DISHES SERVED AT THE FINAL FEAST OF EMPEROR TIBERIUS AUGUSTUS FOR YOUR REFERENCE:
Boiled sow's udder sweetened with dates and sugar of lead. A pickled young tuna, larger than a lizard layered with eggs and leaves of rue. A large Britannian boar within a spit-roast ox that was as well pregnant with other animals within it including stuffed foul and marsh birds, some cooked and some living who flew out of its chest. Roast and honeyed dormice with poppy seeds served on a bridge. Flamingo stewed with mallows, milk fed snails, beetroot, 15 eggs, aniseed and lovage, with plumage restored to serve. Kid of lamb hollowed out like a pipe and filled with its own sausage boiled in a basket lowered in a cauldron of salt water. Finishing with sweet Rose-hip and calf's brain custard
"FOOD IS BETTER TO BE FEARED THAN RESPECTED"
THE PAX ROMANUS, It would be UnRoman:
-No guest shall be cast into or drink of the River STYX.
- The Caesar is a demigod, who does not micturate, defecate, or vomit. When conducting these mundane tasks the scepter (Caligula stick) of the Caesar must be handed off to another Roman Senator.
-No currency can be exchanged.
-Brutalist Maximalist, Hand to the Ceasar, Dionysus God of bartending, The horse senator Incitatus, centurions and any other non-senators CANNOT be Caesar.
- It is the divine purpose of the caesar, the darling of Dionysus to be a great and generous host
LOCATION:
Aboard caligula's pleasure barge, SAT OCT 2nd, 4:00pm - 2:00am On the River Styx, Bushwick Vicinia
Humble servant of the Caesar, The Senate and the People of Rome. SPQR
- BRUTALIST MAXIMALIST
- BRUTALIST MAXIMALIST
References for you:
Trimalchio’s feast text from THE SATYRICON https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/PetroniusSatyriconPartII.php#anchor_Toc505553648
The super-sizers eat ancient Rome, BBC youtube video, excellent..
www.youtube.com/watch?v=swhEbBDwM0I&list=PL8D56E0F6438B4CE6&ab_channel=Supersizers
TASTING HISTORY WITH Max Miller, ROMAN MUSSELS, this guy is great, all of his videos.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A--e0axoGxc&ab_channel=TastingHistorywithMaxMiller
THE DECADENT COOKBOOK recipes of obsession and excess, Chapter 1 “EATING WITH CALIGULA” everybody should own this book. Its about $4 on ebay
SATYRICON film Fellini, feast scene. Fucking Fellini man..
https://vimeo.com/267325816
Trimalchio’s feast text from THE SATYRICON https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/PetroniusSatyriconPartII.php#anchor_Toc505553648
The super-sizers eat ancient Rome, BBC youtube video, excellent..
www.youtube.com/watch?v=swhEbBDwM0I&list=PL8D56E0F6438B4CE6&ab_channel=Supersizers
TASTING HISTORY WITH Max Miller, ROMAN MUSSELS, this guy is great, all of his videos.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A--e0axoGxc&ab_channel=TastingHistorywithMaxMiller
THE DECADENT COOKBOOK recipes of obsession and excess, Chapter 1 “EATING WITH CALIGULA” everybody should own this book. Its about $4 on ebay
SATYRICON film Fellini, feast scene. Fucking Fellini man..
https://vimeo.com/267325816
CHARTA IUDICIUM
